omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I forgot wine drunk hurts
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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