i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
