Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
