i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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