Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Randomize
