wrigley field is MILF paradise
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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