I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
