you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
