why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
