This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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