so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She announced her abortion via fbk
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
