I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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