this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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