imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
my poor anus
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
