her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
