turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize