There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
