69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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