I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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