If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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