i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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