i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
