absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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