We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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