Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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