she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I'm really busy with my period
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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