I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize