ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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