how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
