nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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