Your tits are I can't wait for
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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