I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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