Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My dad is sitting where you rode me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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