I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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