I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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