yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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