i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
