You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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