there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
