well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
