Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
