Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think i have herpe
just one?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
