It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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