Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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