She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm always down for nudity.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
