That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
