Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
