My liver just broke up with me...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
