can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize