Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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