i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
