What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize