bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
