found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
