yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
