You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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