"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
