But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
