I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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