Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
