Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
